Lawson is up and walking like a pro these days, at times even running.. The other day as I loaded the dishwasher I noticed him casually walk by my swinging his arm with his little bow legged walk and I thought to myself "seriously?, did my BABY just walk by me????" I just literally remain in awe of this little boy. He has 4 top teeth and three bottom teeth now, weighs a little over 20 lbs and is 29 inches long. He also has quite an extensive vocabulary...aside from his "own language"..lol..he can say: daddy, momma, bye-bye, night-night, dog, duck, hi, hello, bubba, no-no, this, that.... He loves music and dancing to music..he has favorite commercials..lately its the Burger King commercials...he loves to play games, likes running and hiding in his Daddy's side of the closet, loves to run away from me right before bath time every night and I chase his adorable naked butt through the house as he squeals and laughs...my cup runneth over people.
Since Lawson was maybe 2 weeks old, it has been our nightly routine to have a bath, get dressed, rock in the glider in his room, slow dance, then he goes to bed.. Well as of about a week and a half ago that has changed. He now points to his bed, I lay him in it, he cuddles up to his blanky, then smiles at me and waves bye-bye.. Let me just tell you, it has been a sharp daggar to my heart. There was a point when I swaddled this little boy. I swaddled him TIGHT til he was SEVEN months old!!!! He refused to take naps without being held. He HAD to be rocked to sleep for bed. WHAT HAPPENED? He is growing up on me. But he is such a good boy. Lord, thank you for each and every moment.
I just do not know what to do with myself as far as how much anxiety I have about him growing up/getting bigger... It's a clausterphobic type feeling for me, that's the only way I can describe it. A trapped, I cannot breathe type of internal panic ;) Sometimes I look at him and just get lost in how much I love him and love being his Mom, I told someone the other day that sometimes I just wanna have a Tom Cruise freak out moment and jump up and down and shout to the world "I LOVE BEING A MOMMA!!!!"...
This little guy has changed my life forever. Thank u God for Awesome Lawson ;)
Awww, I know you miss rocking him, but you know you did a good thing! You made him independent! My babies so much as peep and I'm there picking them up. I held them all the time and I'm doing the same with James. I heard so many, "You're gonna spoil that boy!" comments. The truth is, though, that it does the opposite. It makes them secure and confident.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing an amazing job, Haley. Lawson's lucky to have you : )
thank you!!!
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