No Matter How Old They Are, They'll always be someone's baby.

So tonight something happened to me. I realized how strong a mother's love for their child is. This evening after work, I went to Walker Funeral Home to sign the guest book of Officer Shannon Fredman. The second I pulled into the parking lot I got a lump in my throat as I seen the firetrucks, the police cars from various agencies, and then the fireman and police officer standing solemnly outside the door of their fallen brother. I walked in, signed the book, took a short look at Shannon and felt the most incredible since of sadness. No, Shannon and i weren't the best of friends, no I hadn't talked to him in a while, but he was my friend, the whole situation is just sad, period. But in the instant I looked at him, I immediately thought of 3 women. Shannon's Momma, my Momma, and Mrs. Humphrey. These three women had unexpectedly and tragically lost their first born son at the mere age of 30 years. A tear fell from my cheek as I left. I got in my car, headed for my Mom's to pick up my boy. I walked in, there sat my angel on my mothers lap, he seen me and instantly lit up with excitement and started kicking his legs and batting his arms with joy...that was it, I lost it.


I simply cannot imagine ever loving someone as much as I love my son and I cannot fathom the thought of ever losing him. The countless hours of sobbing, the daily hour long trips to the cemetery my mother had made to my brother's grave all made sense to me. When Jeff woke as an infant in the night, it was she who tended to him, at one point she heard his laugh for the 1st time and cried w/joy just like I did when Lawson laughed. At one point, he was her baby. Recently I seen Mrs. Humphrey, I proudly got my phone out and let her listen to my Lawson saying "ma ma ma ma", within seconds of hearing it, she was wiping a tear from her eye, today I figured out where that tear came from.

My Mom has always told me, Haley, it's different when you have your own, it's a love you cannot describe. That is so true. Today was the 1st time I have seen the loss of a young life since becoming a mother and I truly feel a pain in my heart for the above women, and I wish the echo of your son's laugh as a baby to fill your minds whenever your heart feels sad, because like you, I know how amazing that feels.


(((HUGS)))

Haley